it's not easy to pray

It’s not easy to pray, you know. Most times my mind would flit away from you. Other times I would be over enthu in giving you glory and praise swept up in the moment but then falling back out of it. So jesus, here I am again, after many a long sojourn in this and that and every which have you.

Silence…

But then that is yr prerogative. And besides am the sliver of a man. Easy to go into ‘woe is me, for I am a man of unclean lips, heart and actions’. Tougher to deal with it and come up with something than just a holier than thou attitude. Or even worse beat my chest in a show of woe while secretly congratulate myself on the ‘righteousness’ I exhibit by denigrating myself – your creation.

And then at times my heart rebels. My planet being carved up into something unsightly and evil. At the heart of ugliness stands evil. But our sights are skewed and we would as soon as label one your creations as ugly as not recognize the depth of the ugliness we hug.

The world moves on. A construct of Babel in the offing and us none the wiser that this is all just an illusion at your behest. And I fear. That you will be forgotten. That you are just an illusion. That the empirical blockade will win and we will become slaves within the WYSIWYG format of our perceptions. More unwilling than less unable to look beyond what is presented by the powers of our intellect as ‘the whole truth and nothing but the truth’.

And so I hold myself in check, in your silence, waiting. Come Lord Jesus, come.